How To Connect Deeply With Your Menstrual Cycle

Haylay kneeling in front of some purple flowers in a park with warm sunlights shining above

Have you ever noticed that your energy and emotions fluctuate throughout your monthly cycle? You probably have. But have you ever considered just how these fluctuations may actually benefit you, rather than only focusing on some of the perceived inconveniences? Our cycle is an amazing in-built self-care tool. It’s a guide map for life and a framework for living in tune with your needs and desires if you tune in to listen! Each week of our cycle brings different levels of creativity, emotions, energies and focus. The most amazing thing is that each of these 4 phases are also linked to the Luna Phases. In fact, we as women and menstruators are deeply connected to the Luna energy ebbs and flows.

The beginning

Starting with day one of our cycle. That is the first day of red bleeding, not spotting. Our period is the ultimate guide to “letting it all go”. This is a time to abandon anything in your calendar that isn’t a necessity. If you need to work, reduce your to-do list, try to book a day off or even half a day. At the very least, schedule an hour of self-care in the evening. Just like your body is letting go as your flow begins, this is an amazing time to let go of anything that’s been worrying you, as well as the perfect time to take some time out, retreat, meditate and “just be”.

If you make time for yourself during your period, you may notice improvements to your energy and emotions throughout the rest of the month. By honouring your bleed and yourself with self-care prevents you from feeling resentful, snappy and tired later in the month as your needs have been met. This time in your cycle is the perfect time to create art. Listen to that inner voice within that’s so easy to ignore when we’re busy. It’s surprising what amazing flashes of intuition, ideas and creativity can come your way during this time. Just remember to jot them down, rather than acting on them all. It’s time to rest and journal, not rush around creating and planning your future… that comes soon.


At pre-ovulation around day 6 of your cycle, depending on how long your cycle is, you may notice that your energy rises a little. You start to feel creative, optimistic and full of ideas, this blossoms over the coming week or so. You feel like planning your future, you feel able to take on anything. If you aren’t aware of these feelings, you can very easily over-commit and end up begrudging your earlier eagerness!

This pre-ovulation or waxing moon phase is the time of rising energy and momentum growth. It is the time where you might want to sign up for classes. You feel more like going out again after the retreat and introspection of menstruation. Go steady… think of yourself as an emerging bud in spring, gently unfurling, gradually taking on more after the retreat of menstruation. It still isn’t the time to “bloom” that comes soon… This is the time to plan. Notice ideas that you may be interested in, but leave for a week or so to be sure before committing. You’re feeling renewed and optimistic as you enjoy the increase in energy! Be very careful to ensure rest. Whilst this renewed energy is exciting, it comes in short bursts and without regular rest and restraint, you can burn out for the rest of your cycle. 


Around day 14-18 (ish!), the more you notice and chart your cycle and associated physical signs, you may begin to “feel” when you ovulate) Ovulation is time to “bloom”. Be social, active, enjoy interacting with friends and loved ones. Your energy is soaring!! You feel amazing, powerful and in your flow. At this time we are naturally more receptive to sex. If you are trying for a baby, this is the fertile window when you can conceive. Your body responds, you may feel flirty, sexy and alive! If you aren’t trying to conceive, there are many ways to spend on your energy on. Release a new product for your business, finish a new piece of art or a project. A time of completion and gratitude.

If you have pushed and forced through your period and pre-ovulation, you may feel frazzled, burnt out, starting to notice signs of being a little irritable and begrudging of social or work commitments. If that’s the case, don’t worry!! Heed the lesson and make time for self-care. Make yourself a priority and learn the lesson ready for next month. That’s the beauty of being cyclical! We have another chance next month and the month after that…


Moving on now. The energy is beginning to decrease, the moon waning to a crescent, ready for menstruation. This occurs around week 3 of your cycle or pre-menstruation. This is the time where it will really begin to show if you haven’t nurtured and listened to your needs during the month and particularly your previous bleed.

By day 29 (or so, the day or 2 just before your period) You may “feel the roar!!” This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. This time of the month, just before your bleed can really throw a spotlight on anything that isn’t a good fit for you any more, or what’s irritating you! Does something need to change in your life? If it’s your partner, perhaps you don’t need a new partner!! Perhaps you DO need to look at ensuring you have enough time for your hobbies and self-care. Are you being careful with your boundaries or allowing people to over-step or take too much? If you’re being self-critical, perhaps use what comes up to focus on your personal development.

Then it’s time again to release, to throw yourself into the sweet release of your period! Time to dream, float and go inward.

I promise you that by being aware of these phases, you are much more likely to enjoy your cyclic nature. Yes, even your period!! By nourishing yourself better physically, emotionally and energetically, the difficulties around your period do begin to ease. The more I practice womb wisdom and menstrual cycle awareness, the more I believe that as women we store emotions, unconscious attachments to previous sexual partners and energy blockages in our womb. You might want to get in touch with a therapist to release these energetic blocks. There are some beautiful therapies including aromatherapy, herbs, Bach Flower Remedies and Womb healing.

How to plan your month for joy and harmony

  1. Menstruation

    Release, feel, dream, meditate, have as much self-care and time to yourself as you can possibly manage. If the only way to do this is to get out of the house away from chores, book a relaxing treatment, whatever you need and can do to support yourself. DO IT. Please don’t feel guilty, you deserve this and more. Do not: Book anything with people that you find draining, arrange an important meeting, try to be your most supportive to others, this is YOUR time.
  2. Pre-ovulation

    Make notes, make plans but be mindful not to take on too much, or use up too much energy just yet. Pace yourself! This time may be ok for less enjoyable meetings or difficult situations but if you can, save them until ovulation when you’ll feel your best! However you are likely to be at your most analytical and observant at this time, so facts, figures, organising are perfect at this time. It’s also a great time to start new habits such as healthier eating habits or drinking more water.
  3. Ovulation

    Enjoy feeling energetic, sexy, chatty, supportive, confident, friendly, book difficult meetings at this time when you feel you’re most tolerant and sociable, arrange to complete projects at this time. Be “out there” shine bright, a great time for publicity if you own a business.
  4. Pre-menstruation

    Begin to slow down again, pay attention to any critical thoughts, notice what may need to change in your life. Release the roar, journal or go for a run in the rain, let it all out. Feel and release any emotions that come up. You will be at your most honest at this time, this can be good or not so good, depending on who you are with!! You may struggle to hold your tongue! Difficult meetings are probably best postponed.

Lastly, do not apologise for what you feel throughout the month or for your emotions. It can be helpful to explain to your friends and loved ones your new understanding of your cycle and set out what your needs are. This can just make things easier for everyone and prevent you from begrudging people or feeling guilty. Accepting that we change throughout the month and that our energy and emotions fluctuate is so empowering. Don’t hold it all together and remain the same, which is just draining! 

When you realise that your cycle is an empowering force that connects you to nature and the lunar phases, you cannot help but feel more grounded, in control and able to stand in your unique power!

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