Why Did I Send My Dog Away?

puppy sitting in a hole inside a dog park with mud and slide

Growing up, I have always wanted to have a dog. A fluffy, loyal companion that I can share all my adventures with. Throughout my travels, I have met friends that travel with pets and friends that have had to alter their plans for their beloved furry pal. It has been a dream of mine.

Jan 22, 2021. It was a sunny day. The sky was clear blue and the sun was warm. My flatmates asked me if I wanted to go to the bazaar with them to pick up some fresh vegetables for dinner.

In the middle of the bazaar, there was a tree with a huge tree hole. A street dog had given birth to seven puppies and people were nice enough to make them a warm home inside the hole. However, it was just after a cold, windy week, the zero temperature was harsh for the 5-week pups. As we were making our way through, a white puppy with black spots was stumbling her way, wiggling her tail at us.

She was the most adorable puppy, eager to explore the world. My flatmate held her in her arms. She was cold, shivering a bit. The shop owner told us to take her home so she would not be on the street anymore. It took us less than two minutes to decide that we would take her home, and then find her a permanent home so she would not grow up to be a street dog.

A New Home

Aside from some worms, the vet told us the puppy was mostly healthy. Taking care of a puppy that could barely run was not easy. Every two hours, I had to wake up to feed her and take her to toilet. It was a lot of sleepless nights with her waking me up, wanting to play.

The screaming and crying from a puppy may be hard to handle, but the joy and love they bring you are 100 times better and make it so worth it. From the first day when she was stumbling her way to my bed, to when she was jumping and running around. It was amazing how things can change in just a few weeks.

She knew where her room was. Every night at 10pm, she would wiggle her tail and get to bed with me. She stopped crying at night also. When she woke up at night, she would play with her toys quietly and would not wake me up. Wherever I went, she started to follow.

In just a few weeks, this lively pup had grown to be twice the size. She was happy as always every day. During those days, I never really thought much about the future, just that I wanted to spend time with her every day. Everyone was calling me her mama.

A Forever Home

One day, my flatmate came home and said she had found a forever home for my little baby. It had then dawned on me that she was leaving. I kind of knew it from the start, that she would not stay with us forever. I just never thought it would happen so fast.

That night, I sat by my bed, staring at my baby, wondering, can I keep her forever? Can I be a dog mum for her?

The next day, I spent the whole day trying to think of excuses or ways I could keep her. Those sparkling little eyes are filled with love for me and I did not want to let her go.

If You Love Someone, Let Them Go

As people always say, if you love someone, you have to learn to let them go. I never truly understood the meaning of that until now. I always thought, if you love someone, why would you ever let them go?

But now, I think I understand a little more about it. I was a forster mum. Saying goodbye is the ultimate goal for every forster parent. It means the baby you have been caring for has now a permanent home.

Saying goodbye is a life lesson we all have to learn, and yet a lesson most of us will never learn. Looking at my baby, I began to think about what kind of life I would be able to give her. I am always on the road, my lifestyle is not stable. If I could put it in a way, I guess my true love is the world.

I loved this little baby and would love to take her around the world with me. But truth to be told, I was not in a position to offer her the best life she deserved, while the new family could. I was so overwhelmed in emotions that I did not want to let her go because I did not want to lose her. I began to forget that she was only going to be here temporarily on her way to her forever home.

I Would Still Do It Again

It took me a while to process that thought of letting her go. Sometimes, you don’t get to have everything in life. Some days, there is just no sun and no breeze.

I was so saddened by the fact of her leaving that at one point. So many times I wanted the new owner to take her soon so I could get it over with. After taking some time off to calm down, I accepted the fact that she was going. Every day I had with her, I made sure to take pictures to document her growing belly and cherish every moment.

If you love someone, let them go. Sending my dog away was the hardest decision I have ever had to make, yet it was one that I knew for sure was right to make. Her new daddy is very lovely who has an ample amount of time every day to keep those little paws running and the fluffy tail wiggling. She will be happy, living her best dog life. Meanwhile, I will be traveling somewhere in this world, living my best life also, thinking about her. I know I will.

If I could turn back time to Jan 22, 2021, I would still have chosen to take her home that day, to give her a chance for a different future.

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